How to Deal with Your Spouse when Your the Rookie...

Now there have been some articles popping up on a few sites ( LAPDwife.com & policewivesonline.com ) on advice for a Rookies spouse and a cops spouse but I have some advice from the wife to the rookie/cop.

So listen up=)

#1. This is a hard time for both of you, a big struggle in life, love and marriage as well as career. So understand that you are the one actually doing it so it’s easier to understand your changes but your spouse doesn’t.

#2. Be patient because not only you will go through mood swings, your spouse is going through yours which cause them to have their own…which lead to nervous breakdowns=)

#3. Help your spouse find reading material’s that might help you both out and read them together ( in between ever five books you read for work read one for your marriage).

#4. Be a part of the marriage, don’t leave your spouse in the dark or on the side lines. Don’t’ make them feel second to your “brothers and sisters in blue”. Show your spouse that they and your marriage are still number one on your priority list. It’s a busy time for you and you won’t much time for special romantic dinners but try to make at least special occasions still special.
Don’t send an email saying that valentines or your anniversary isn’t important or a priority and that you don’t’ have time…sorry sweetie. Perhaps you can sit down and talk about having that special date on another day instead.

#5. Be open to your changes and how difficult this will be to your spouse, you will all of a sudden not be the person they married.

#6. Realize that as you change so does your spouse.

#7. For the first two years allot more time will go into the job than home, the next two years start making up for it=)

#8. Include your spouse in activities ( poker games, etc) introduce her to your classmates and partners so she doesn’t feel left out of the loop and your life.

Write your spouse some letters, get some cards and talk to them here and there about how you realize how hard this is on them and how much you appreciate their support and that soon you will be past the hard part and be able to be more a part of the family again.

Any other idea’s?