Let us remember our fallen Officers on this day.

In the recent shooting of a 13 year old and many people crying out about abuse from Police officers or try to say that our officers are "trigger happy" .Officers put themselves at risk and in danger each and every day to save people and keep our community safe as well as uphold the law.
There is such an outcry because an Officer does his job and the community doesn't’t like it but lets remember that the community doesn't’t always work with the police or uphold the laws that is why we have a need for them.

Today is the eight year anniversary of...
The North Hollywood bank robbery of 2.28.1997
I recommend that you watch the movie " 44 Minutes" and see what this was about, when you watch it make sure to remember that this was real life. "http://harrymarnell.com/officer.htm">http://harrymarnell.com/officer.htm
at this site you can listen to a few moments of the dispatch recordings.
There, at the time, where not any Police Departments trained for this type of incident but thankfully no lives where lost due to the high quality of training and ways of thinking of our LAPD Officers.

"An event that took place in February 28th 1997. A series of bank robberies culminated in quite possibly the most violent shootout in modern American police history. The lives of 36 patrons and 12 employees were endangered when two heavily armed men wearing body armor decided to rob the Bank of America in North Hollywood. Seen entering the bank by Los Angeles police officers, the two men intimidated employees and patrons by firing shots inside while not realizing that Los Angeles police officers were surrounding the building. As they left the bank, the robbers became aware of their predicament and began shooting at police and civilians. Three civilians and nine officers were shot within the first five minutes of the shootout, and a total of 350 officers were called to the scene. As police bullets bounced off the suspects, it became evident that the two men were wearing body armor and had out-gunned the police with their armor piercing bullets and semiautomatic weapons. A total of seven civilians and eleven LAPD officers were injured. Despite the overwhelming odds, many heroic officers, while in grave danger, initiated officer and citizen rescues as the suspects continued to exchange shots with other officers. The suspects fired more than 1,100 rounds from their semiautomatic assault rifles. Eventually, one suspect committed suicide and members of the LAPD SWAT team shot and killed the other."
http://www.student.oulu.fi/~hmikkola/shootout.html">
This took place in November of 2003 in Burbank, CA.
"Officer Pavelka was shot and killed while backing up another officer during a traffic stop at 1845 hours. The driver of the SUV was unable to produce a driver's license or vehicle registration during the stop. Both occupants of the vehicle then exited the car, each with two handguns, and opened fire on the officers. The suspects fired over 30 rounds from the handguns, striking both officers. Although critically wounded, both officers were able to return fire and killed one of the suspects. The second suspect escaped but was captured two weeks later in Tijuana, Mexico. Several semi-automatic rifles and methamphetamine were also found in the vehicle during the ensuing investigation. The suspect was charged murder and attempted murder and if convicted he faces the death penalty. His two brothers were also arrested and charged with aiding in his escape. Both brothers were found guilty and sentenced to 18 months in prison. Officer Pavelka had only served with the Burbank Police Department for 10 months, and had previously served as a United States Air Force Security Police officer for four years." http://www.ompd.org">http://www.ompd.org

Police Officer Ricardo Lizarraga
Los Angeles Police Department California
End of Watch: Friday, February 20, 2004
Biographical Info Age: 31Tour of Duty: 2½ yrsBadge
Number: 36046
Incident Details Cause of Death: GunfireDate of Incident:
Friday, February 20, 2004Weapon Used: Handgun
Suspect Info: Committed Suicide
Officer Lizarraga was shot and killed while investigating a domestic disturbance in the Leimert Park area of Los Angeles. He and his partner were flagged down by a woman while on patrol. The woman informed the two officers she was having problems with a friend and wanted him removed from her home. As the officers approached the man to search him, he pulled out a handgun and opened fire, striking Officer Lizarraga in the abdomen, below his vest. Officer Lizarraga's partner returned fire as the suspect fled the scene. Officer Lizarraga was transported to a local hospital where he died from his wounds approximately 2 hours later. The suspect was arrested about 3 hours after the shooting during a large manhunt. The shooter was a gang member who was on parole and had a long criminal history. The suspect attempted to hang himself in his cell a few hours after his first court appearance. He died the next day from the wounds he received in that attempt. Officer Lizarraga had served with the Los Angeles Police Department for 2.5 years. He is survived by his wife.
http: year="2004&submit=go"

On : http://www.odmp.org
For the year 2005 as of 2.28.05 holds a list of 16 American Officers Killed .Eight of them by gunfire alone, 1 a stabbing .This is only the last day of the 2nd month of the year so far.
In the year 2004 155 Officers died in America. Fourteen of them in California.

This does not count the injured and wounded.

Hollywood through not-so-rose colored glasses

I have posted a link to an article that is interesting and truth for Hollywood.

Many young people come here for fame, my husband being one of them and who graduated from the Academy of Dramatic Arts, but joined the LAPD after he realized that servings tables and trying to find auditions wasn't going to pay the bills forever.
He still holds on to his dream of writing a book or a screenplay and perhaps someday he will still be able to follow his dream . But for now he made the choice to quit waiting tables...and waiting for auditions and joined the Police Academy.
Perhaps he will find time to write during the next 18 years before retirement or perhaps he'll retire first and before he can hold up in his study, pounding out his thoughts and ideas on a keyboard. But he woke up and met reality that at the age of 25 he was past waiting tables and being a "starving actor". He looked forward to a future with a family and knew that his current career path was not going to take him in the right direction at the moment.

In the meantime he saves up all new knowledge as a Police officer with the LAPD and gains new insight that may one day help his writing ability's.

Finding a different career path is not taking away his dream, if anything at times he talks of how much his current career and what he learns add's and builds to it.

These young kids with stars in their eye's need not become homeless to achieve their dream. They can work regular jobs and go to college and still achieve them , in fact, it often helps and gives insight.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/ap/20050227/ap_on_re_us/homeless_in_Hollywood

Star's and stage names.

I ended up sitting on the bus all the way home the other night next to this young lady my own age who was out job searching here in LA.
She handed me her resume when I mentioned job openings at my own company and as soon as I saw her name I about choked…ok, she is not likely to ever read this and I don’t want to be a mean person but I’ll say it “ Sparkles” it read….Oy!

She was a young lady trying to make it in the music business as well this was her “stage name”. Now, parents often give terrible names but when we give ourselves even worse names I must worry about the sanity of that person.

When I saw her name, instead of thinking of recommending her for a job at my corporate office in LA I thought it would fit better in a porn video.
Why do these young star chasing people think the way they do sometimes?

Well, I arrived home and asked my once –actor husband if he had ever done the “stupid stage name” thing. He laughed and said. “ Long story”. I learned the name and the story behind its short-lived history over dinner. I now have new material for teasing my husband with.

I often am asked if I came to Los Angeles from Texas to act or model or any of the many other reasons in show business. I did not. Even though I had a time in modeling (New York, not California) I never even meant to do that and fell into it. I have never been a person who wanted to be a star. I never had a stage name and I enjoyed it while it lasted then left it when it was becoming more of a job then fun since it wasn’t my dream.

When I tell people that I did not come to LA for any careers in the entertainment business I am asked “ Then what are you here for?”.

Well, I jumped in a truck and drove out west plain and simple.
I fell in love enough to stay. Yes, there are it’s up’s and down’s and I miss the country but then I take a long drive.
Los Angeles has a lot to offer and is not much different from Houston. I’m here to stay, especially now that I happened to fall in love with a man who is contracted to the city.

I live in the City of Angels.
I loved that movie. I love the romance behind that name. I might not always live in Los Angeles but I plan to stay in California.
I have traveled to Mount Shasta and lived a summer up there. I have driven over the Golden Gate Bridge in complete awe. I have driven along the coast and watched the Sea lions basking in the sun, gone to the mid-state fair, explored caves in Pismo Beach and been married on Coronado Island.
There’s more reason for California than Los Angeles itself but this is where life has set my roots and I am content.

No, I am not here to be the next star even if I get one more person telling me I look like Jennifer Gardner. I am not even a star struck fan, though I did enjoy it when my favorite TV show, Alias, was filming in the building where I work. But now the many movie sets around here are just a matter of life. My husband once drove onto a set while on patrol though and they where filming a scene with a cop car, he thought it was a little ironic as he had been the starving actor for years, become a cop then happens onto a movie set where actors are pretending to be cops.

When we where going on our first date he made a comment about not being a rich man and I told him “ you tell me you where an actor, I picture a professional waiter, you tell me you are now a cop, I don’t expect much more in the pay. I am not expecting a rich man”.

Aw, Los Angeles, Hollywood…where young people with stars in their eye’s come to try their best.

Perhaps if I wherever approached, discovered they call it, with a great part and a large check I would consider it for a time, but then again, stars fade….

LAPD heads for the big screen!

The LAPD is hitting the theaters! The ARMY and Marines have recruited in this fashion for years, now the LAPD is joining them in advertising in theaters with short movies designed and made to capture the audience!

The ARMY and Marines have been using these methods for ages to recruit young men and women who otherwise did not have much of a future.
Like the ARMY and marines the LAPD also offers a chance to go to college by reimbursing at the CAL State level.

This is a great opportunity for LA’s men and women!

You can find the information at: JoinLAPD.com


LAPD breaks into showbiz!

Police Shootings

I had to share this portion of a letter from another losangeles.craiglist.org post


Shooting, dogs, tigers and PEOPLE. Police shootings use to be a yearly thing. Now it seems like every week, In LA County. (Them against us attitude of government and law enforcement), today.

I agree with this writer, shootings are beginning to be a regular thing…many of our Officers are shot on a much more regular basis than time gone by…. we should stop that huh?

But on the serious side, Police Shootings, if you think they are up then perhaps think about the fact the crime is as well from a few decades ago. The drugs are more potent and the gangs are more dangerous. Dogs are regularly breed to fight and kill and Police Deal with Pit bulls all the time. My husband won’t even allow us to own a pit ever because of what he has to deal with at work.
Tigers on the lose (which was not shot by Police but by Game and wildlife??). Well, if we could possibly have any responsible animal or pet owners then this would not have happened. Why doesn’t PETA get on the owners for owning a Tiger like this AND letting it lose to wander around, be hurt and starve as well and not even report it? How the hell do you LET a Tiger get lose to begin with?
If dogs where on leashes and not on sleeping in some ally owned by a homeless person (why isn’t it a bad thing that the dog was out in this cold rain we’ve been having too?) then there would have been no reason to have to shoot it.

If people where not out stealing cars, weaving like a drunk driver, evading arrest and trying to run over an Officer, crashing into a cruiser which costs tax payers money to fix then he would not have been shot either.

Your right people, the world are a bad place because people cannot follow the laws.

Racism or Ignorance?

I have been reading the LA Times among other writings, of the shooting of 13 year old Devon Brown who was out at 4:am stealing a car and speed back wards towards an LAPD Officer, trying to evade arrest and run the Officer down as well as crashing the car and was shot by that Officer he was speeding towards.

This is a line from the an LA Times article .“"Be prepared to die!" screamed a small group of protesters led by a man with a sign that read, "Death to Pigs." "Be prepared to kill!"

Yes…this will give us faith NOT to shoot every black man we pull over for now on. I mean, come on people! Stop showing how ignorant you truly are!

More….
“Kevin Ferguson was working in the stockroom of a corner market, which was busy with locals getting off work and protesters looking for snacks. Ferguson led a stranger to the stockroom to give his take on the incident.Yes, he said, the LAPD needed to be held accountable for what appeared to be a questionable use of force. But he also wondered how Devin Brown ended up in that situation Sunday morning."We don't deserve the treatment we get, but I also think we shouldn't put ourselves in a position where we do get treated that way," Ferguson said. "But I have a 13-year-old at home, and guess what? He's going to stay home."


I agree with most of this, I do not agree that the Officer was in the wrong though.

I also have to bring up the fact that there is always such a racial issue between the LAPD and the Black community but the Police Officer’s last name was Garcia, ok, yes, EVERONE is out to get the black man right? Oh, and before I get any racial bashing...I come from an interraccial family.

It goes on…”"There's no human relations," he said. "There's no people skills. Once they put on those uniforms, they become part of a gang. And the irony is, we pay for their jobs."

Well, we would have time for chatting and human relations if we had more Officer’s, but some people of a certain class also do not associate with gang members and thugs stealing cars either….sorrrry. I do have to point out that we pay taxes. Basically we pay ourselves.

…..”The area, wedged between Culver City and Inglewood, is one of the wealthiest black neighborhoods in the country. "I think he shouldn't have never stole the car," Kessee said. "I think they ought to stop stealing cars. If something happens, that's life."

And…”LAPD's February shooting of a white robbery victim in Santa Monica, after he backed his car toward a police cruiser. But as she saw it, most incidents like the Devin Brown shooting happened disproportionately in black neighborhoods.”

Another article reads, "Police committed another racist killing Feb. 6." Referring to the shooting of the 13-year-old boy. How is this found racist? If these morons want to know about racism go visit the south!

…..”And many citizens, black and white, wondered why the cops were shouldering all the blame for an incident that started because a 13-year-old was driving illegally, in a stolen car, at 4 in the morning. "We see young, innocent kids killed by gangbangers, and we don't see [this much] outrage," says white City Councilman Dennis Zine.”

When Beasts Attack….

Well, well....
I sometimes roam around on Losangeles.craiglist.org for amusement and the best place to go for boredom reading is the pets section and lately there has been a heated topic about the LAPD on there.
So I read the debate that is going back and forth and it seems that we have quite a few supporters on the side of LAPD Officer’s.

This is what has been happening…

“In case you didn't hear about this story already, I would like to call your attention to the police shooting of a 10-year old dog here in Los Angeles. The text of a story from today's LA Times can be found below. I would like to urge citizens of Los Angeles and members of anti-cruelty groups to write to Mayor Hahn, the LAPD, and others to call this to their attention and express your feelings about this senseless shooting. Or call them! Here are some email addresses to express your concern: MayorHahn@mayor.lacity.org questions@lapdonline.org info@spcaLA.com letters@latimes.com Below is the text of the story: Police Shooting of Dog Sparks Anger LAPD says the pit bull, licensed to a man living off an alley, menaced a bike patrol. Those who knew the animal say she was not aggressive. By Bob Pool Times Staff Writer February 19, 2005 Slow-moving and heavy-set, Teri the pit bull was the pride of animal lovers who find homes for stray dogs roaming the streets of downtown Los Angeles. Leaders of the Downtown Dog Rescue would take those curious about their organization to an alley off 7th Place, where Teri lived with her master, Benny Josephs. Teri's photo even appears with Josephs' in the group's 2005 calendar, representing April. But Teri won't be around to see the calendar page when it's flipped over at Josephs' alley alcove. On Wednesday, a Los Angeles police officer shot the animal in front of the gate to the pair's makeshift home. A city animal control officer said Teri died on the way to a clinic. Police assert that the 70-pound dog attacked a column of four bicycle patrol officers riding through the alley west of Mateo Street. The last officer in line, 10-year-veteran Gina Iglesias, fired the fatal shot "fearing for her safety," police said Friday. "The apparently startled dog bared its teeth and attacked," officials said in a statement. None of the officers was injured; Iglesias, who is assigned to the Newton station, has been temporarily taken off field duty while a routine investigation into the shooting takes place, police said. Angry dog-rescue volunteers and workers in the industrial neighborhood on the eastern edge of downtown condemned the shooting as unnecessary and officers' actions afterward as unconscionable. A private security guard stationed in the alley was apparently the only witness to the shooting. On Friday he declined to comment. Manuel Maldonado, a DHL delivery driver who works from a warehouse next to the shooting site, said he encountered Teri moments before the bicycle patrol pedaled up. "I'd pulled into the alley and the dog was sleeping. I got out to tell her to move — you pet her and she'll move out of the way. A little later I heard a gunshot and went back to look and she was lying there in the same spot," Maldonado said. "I don't think she even barked," he added. "This was unnecessary." Driver Rollee Salgado said the bullet fired at Teri ricocheted into a green car parked in the alley. "That dog was like a daughter to Benny. We'd give him food, and he'd turn around and give it to her," Salgado said. Others who work nearby also said they doubted that the 10-year-old pit bull posed a serious threat to the officers. "She was never aggressive. I never even heard her growl. There's no way she would attack," said Michael Faye, a photographer whose studio is nearby and who had known the dog for three years. Mark Helf, an art director working at the studio on a sportswear advertising photo shoot, described the scene as heart-wrenching. "They wouldn't let Benny go to his dog, even to put a compress on the wound. He had to basically watch his dog bleed to death and die over a two-hour period. "I heard Benny plead, 'Please, please shoot my dog, put it out of its misery.' They wouldn't even do that," Helf said. Josephs, who heard the gunshot but did not see the shooting, said he tried to aid his wounded dog but was blocked by police. "Teri tried to get up and kept falling down. They wouldn't let me help her," he said. The 58-year-old Josephs, who does odd jobs in exchange for permission to live in a small shed in a fenced-in alcove off the alley, was one of Downtown Dog Rescue's first clients when it was created in 1998. Rescue workers had found him overwhelmed with strays that he had taken in. Eventually, volunteers found new homes for 10 adult dogs and 40 puppies he was struggling to feed. Josephs kept Teri and two other older dogs after the rescue group spayed and neutered them and helped him license them. On Friday, Josephs used cans of dog food to illustrate where the officers were positioned as they rode through the alley. He said a male officer riding tandem with another rider indicated that he had fired the shot. "The one officer said he thought the dog was going to do something to the lady" riding at the rear of the group, Josephs said. "He said he was fearful for his partner." Josephs said police closely inspected the green car that he said was punctured by the ricocheting bullet. He said it belongs to a woman whose name he did not know but who works in the area. Detectives investigating the shooting would not comment. An LAPD spokeswoman said the report filed after the incident did not indicate that a vehicle had been struck by a bullet. The department's Force Investigation Division is probing the incident. Organizers of Downtown Dog Rescue, meantime, were calling Friday for a wider investigation. Rescue founders Lori Weise and Richard Tuttlemondo said Josephs was essentially dismissed as a homeless transient by authorities, even though Teri was licensed to him at the 7th Place address. She believes the officer's actions were excessive and dangerous to the entire neighborhood. "If they felt threatened, why didn't they just Mace her?" Weise said. "Postmen do it every day."

Ok, my first opinion and thoughts are that for one thing, many dogs that are trusted and long time family pets have been left alone in a room with a new baby or a young child and then parents leaves them alone for a split second and comes back to find that their baby has been mauled. So to say that this dog would absolutely NOT EVER bite or growl to make an Officer feel the need to defend themselves is absolutely ridicules and since apparently no one actually saw the whole incident then who’s to say right?
I have also ridden horse back and been approached by dogs that I have to mace or if I have a gun ( in Texas) have had to shoot or once had to grab a 2x4 laying nearby after being thrown from my horse and beat the dog off from the attack.
I am an animal lover myself and have always had dogs but if it comes to protecting myself I do what it takes.

Another thing to point out is that there are leash laws in California, if I came upon a dog, especially one as intimidating as a Pitbull then I would feel threatened even if the dog didn’t make to attack me.
I have even owned dogs that have a need it seems, to chase after anything on a bike or perhaps the dog was startled and even just growled , if I held a gun as protection I would shoot without a second though! Especially when in some back ally.

This was also a dog belonging to a homeless man. Did this dog have up to date shots? Would you take the chance of finding out after the dog bit your arm off?

Another quote reads” Benny did say that a male officer came over to him and said "I am sorry that I shot your dog, but I thought that he was going to bite my partner.".

One quote that made me spit out my tea was this “I cannot image a reason to shot a dog unless it was already biting a person or child or another animal for that matter”…..Who the heck would sit there and watch a dog coming after their small child and let a pitbulls strong jaws enclosed on it before taking action? Geesh, I almost had to laugh at this one it was so stupid.

This writer goes on to say “I understand completely that there are a lot of animals that are either naturally aggressive or trained that way, but in the same regard there are also people who are naturally aggressive and trained that way too.”

Yes , I say, and we shoot them too.

“If the police department is train to deal with Humans that are a threat to them selves as well as other may it is time for our police force to be trained how to properly deal with animals as well.”

That’s the Animal Control’s job…but if we have a gun, feel the need to shoot for our safety or the safety of the community then we have the right…we are trained that way.

“To shot someone's Dog is one thing but to let them bleed to death in front of an owner and not let that owner even help or hold is pet is down right cruel and UN humane.”

They must treat this like any other crime and shooting scene, if a child was lying shot and killed, bleeding they would also hold the mother back from the scene as well. This is their job so that the scene can be investigated properly.

There are also posts that support us, here’s a look at one “Thank you to whom ever posted the addresses to contact in regards to this event. I for one am going to contact everyone I can regarding this act, and tell the police that I support them. That's right, I SUPPORT THEM! Police officers have enough to worry about without being menaced by dogs. Neither mace nor pepper spray is effective enough to guarantee the safety of an Officer. There have been reports of pit bulls having been struck over the head with a 2x4, kicked, sprayed with water, had their jaws pried apart with screwdrivers, and many other actions to try to stop an attack. IF you have a dog that's off leash and menacing someone, the police are justified in doing what is necessary to prevent an injury. Which is more important, canine or human life? Sure, all life is precious, but when someone is being chased down by a breed of dog that's known to attack, the human life comes first!”.

Thanks for the support and good words!

Understanding your Cop’s life and making an LEO family successful

“I want you to know how wonderful each and every day has been, not only since our wedding - but since the day we met. You sometimesfeel like you can't do anything right. As far as I'm concerned, you doEVERYTHING right. You are the sweetest, most beautiful, most wonderfulwoman I've ever met. I have never seen anyone pour themselves into tryingto understand what their husband does for a living like you do”.

The above is a quote from something my own husband wrote to me on Valentines Day of this year. It’s the last line that I post this for. This was the best compliment I have ever heard and made me realize that the things I do to be a good wife do not go un-noticed by my dear Husband.

What it was above its true. I read anything I can get my hands on, I compliment him and tell him all the time that I am proud of him and I read his Police magazines and websites besides going to my own LEO spouse groups and websites (my favorite being LAPDwife.com). I read every book about life with LEO family’s and marriage that I can find as well as even read books that he uses to study with or books written by cops that show allot of how a cop’s life is even if it’s just a novel. I talk to other cops’ and cop’s wives and get all the advice I can get, listen to all the stories that I am told and read every article I come across.

Not only do I learn how to be a wife to a Police Officer but I want to be his friend, his confidant and understand what it is he goes through each day so that I can better understand how to deal with what may come or help him out of a depression or help our marriage NOT become another Police marriage divorce statistic.

I encourage him and offer to go to the shooting range with him so that he can get in more shoot time and still spend time together as this is important to both of us.
I work out with him to help him stay motivated and fit which is a safety on his job and I stay fit too. We go jogging together in the park and enjoy time together at the same time as being healthy.
I listen to his day and am sure I always ask him how his day was too. I let him vent when he needs to vent but I also throw up the red flag when needed, if I feel that there is a better way for him to handle a situation like traffic when we are together, I let him know as well as seek out advice.

I don’t let him being a Police Officer is an excuse for any actions that are unacceptable to our marriage. I help him find another way to vent, I go ask questions at the boxing gym and bring home information to se if he wants to start a new hobby (which he does). I encourage new hobbies or ways to vent or release his stress.
I even try not to nag about little things but also do let him know that I need him to clean off the bathroom sink and if he can do just that small thing I won’t nag and add to raised blood pressure.

I wait until his days off to ask him to clean and do things around the house, and even I myself get too busy to get things done on my own workdays so why should I expect more from him than I do myself?
It’s allot of compromise and following the age-old advice “ sometimes let the little things go” But I also follow the advice I was given once that adds to that saying “ but don’t the little things become big things, don’t let them be ignored and don’t let it build up anger inside of you. Just go about getting things done in a different manner”.

My husband is not controlling by nature but even so I am a stubborn person and would simply not allow control to be an issue in our marriage. I would seek counseling and often this can be free at a local church or through books and websites but then if further help is needed, get it before it’s too late.

At the same time my husband gives back to the work I do to understand him.
I train and ride horses and am hoping to start showing soon as well.
He surprises me with new subscriptions to horse magazines, and with books and videos on horses.
He encourages me in my hobby and finding a new horse to lease when needed.
He went searching on horse websites to find out information of equipment that I needed among more.

Our only rule is “ Don’t get hurt” and “ wear a helmet at all times”.
Ok, my compromise is I wear the helmet and don’t TRY to get hurt on purpose at least!
Not so bad and I should anyways.

I even get back rubs after a long day of riding.

In return I give him backrubs on his days off (since that’s when I see him) and I follow tips from his chiropractor, this is a blessing to him at times after spending long days with that heavy duty belt on.
I even bought him a new game for his X-Box for Christmas.

In return he will also help around the house, run errands and pick up dry-cleaning and make dinner (ok, ok, so he orders pizza but at least it’s always presented in candle light).

No marriage can be truly 50/50 I think, as we will never make the same amount of money, I make a certain amount now but with raises and a climb up the ladder my pay changes. In years his will too.
When one of us has more time we do extra chores around the house or errands and such, if it’s a week with his days off filled with court when he should be sleeping, I’ll pick up the slack for that week, he’ll pick up the slack on another week when I work overtime at my job.

It’s a harmony. I work towards keeping it that way. There are bumps in the road but we pull out the bulldozer and smooth them out.

Cops who don’t leave work at work.

I spend some time on many sites and groups as well as blogs and in many places I find that there is allot of good reading material and helpful advice for being married to a cop but sometimes I feel like saying “ What ?” Because I don’t always understand peoples way’s of thinking.

On today’s note let me bring up the subject about the cops that don’t leave work at work.
Now, for one thing, many things need and will be brought home but sometimes I read what these spouses have to deal with and I feel very thankful that my husband is not like many of their husbands.

For example, I just read a post where the wife stated “I have issues with DH always being a cop. He wont even take family pictures unless he wears his uniform”.

Ok, I have to say that in many cases I might use my own husband as an example because he doesn’t seem to be like allot of off-duty cops.
Other times I’ll just give my own opinion on what I would just plain put my foot down to and as any spouse should!

The above quote would be something that for one, my DH would not do (except for our wedding) but for two I must ask the spouse “ Why are you as a wife letting him do that?” If you did something like that…like say take all your pictures nude or in a farmer type jump suit he would say something…wouldn’t he? And he would ask for you to change that issue…right?
If he were a UPS man would he always wear his uniform for pictures (no offense to the UPS uniform=)?

In my opinion I believe that in marriage there are times when you can look at someone and say “ no, not that dress” or “ Look, this can’t continue like this”.
I ask you, have you said anything to him about this? Have you asked him to wear something else or take a picture with his child or wife and NOT be in uniform? If not, why not? If so, what the heck was his reaction? And if he said no then where is his part in compromising in the marriage?

I also read and hear about driving like they are on code three all the time…even with a baby in the back seat, lest remember that you are not in a car with lights and sirens!

Then there are the Officers who have to always be at work…I mean; they have radios in their vehicles or at home all the time. Why would you want to listen to Police radio at every moment off-duty and not take the time to talk to your family or spend time with them? You also have to hear that damn thing for more hours than I can count! Why would you want to hear it all at home? When do you take your time to leave your job and relax? I have to ask…what is your blood pressure?
Would you want your wife to bring home loads of paperwork from her job and not spend time with you because she is always paying attention to something that is not necessary, (or hey, if you are a nurse, start bringing home your patients=) relaxing or even a hobby? Or hey…ladies, get a job as a photographer for Calvin Clyne underwear models and start bringing your work home then! (Just a joke sweetie=).

The wives I hear from see this as a large problem, many of these wives feel neglected and with good reason, leave work at work and enjoy your relax time, time with family and good conversation.


My husband study’s, read’s, watches video’s and work’s out among things like hitting the shooting range on occasion and these things are essential for his safety and work and he enjoys reading anyways like I myself am always reading horse training books. He also watches the video’s while working out in our home gym so that’s two birds with one stone and I again watch horse training video’s so that’s an even scale for us…. but he doesn’t have to catch all the bad guy’s or ask any creep looking guy’s to “spread ‘me” or keep a radio with him at all times (ok, well in the beginning straight out of the Academy he was suspicious of EVERYBODY but he cooled down on the quickly.
He loves his job but it’s still a job, I enjoy my horses but I leave them at the barn ya know? So guys …cool it K?

Now for the wives complaining about the hours of work…. here goes.
My husband currently works Watch 3 (he’s gone from home from 2:30 pm to 3:am). He works about 15 days a month. He also has court. I work and with travel am out of the house from 7:20-7:30 Mon-Fri.
When he gets a weeknight off I enjoy his company to no end, I get a candle lit dinner often and a great back massage and the house has been cleaned up (ok, not the way I would do it but better than nothing right?) often store, dry-cleaner and other errands have been done during his day and so when I get home I enjoy his company after my own long day of work. On the weekend days he has off we enjoy each other’s time together as well and hit the movies and dinner out and so on.
But then there are the days he works, a few weeknights a each week I get my “Me” time, I come home from a long day of work and don’t have to bother with too much cooking, though I eat healthy and still need to continue that even when he’s not there though I am more willing to eat left over's than he is. I plop on the couch and read my book or watch a show that I might be ahead of him on or that movie that I want to see and he doesn’t, talk to my friends or family and so on.
On the weekend days that he works we often have some time together working out and have lunch together among other things until he goes to work. He’s up from about 12 and leaves at 2:45. Before he is up I can spend same cuddle time and sleep and I often go horseback riding, to the farmers market, work out, hike, go to my favorite bagel place or the grocery store, etc. Then some time in the afternoon with him before work and then I hit the mall, meet up with friends or do what ever I listed for morning that I didn’t do and do it in the afternoon instead. Talk to family read, etc. Oh…. and there’s always house cleaning and laundry that can fill my time!
I am used to sleeping alone since being single and we just married in October and he was on the same shift then. I do miss him when he is gone, more so the first day after a stretch of days off but I deal with it because this is the way of life…our’s at least. I don’t resent it in the least. I enjoy my time alone and not entertaining or answering to some one at times. And I very much enjoy my time with him as well.
When there are kids things might change but even then I brace for them being difficult and odd schedules as well. Until then I learn what I can and see the benefits of an odd schedule as well. (I can never get to places on weekdays because of work that close by five so on a week day he is off he’ll go for me).
I make the best of it.

He could be working another type job such as many of the men that are at my office job work until 10 at night and with drive time are not home until about 11:pm!
If he was a restaurant manager he would often be working until the restaurant closed and everything was cleaned and prepped for the next day, this can be 1: AM.
If he was a Vet he might be out dealing with a sick horse late at night or if a Doctor he would be spending long hours at work and at odd times.

Remember that the life of Law Enforcement Officer is not the only one that can be hard on the home life.
We must learn to be flexible.

This past Christmas we spent the weekend before with his parents, the Wednesday before together because he worked that weekend. I was also pleasantly surprised at 3:am with bunches of flowers.

I also have friends and acquaintances or other spouses that have nothing to do with Law Enforcement and yet they have many of their own complaints that we seem to think are our’s alone.

Examples are:

The husband never has time for the kids, works late, comes home sits in a chair with a beer in front of the TV and never moves the rest of the night.
Works weekends often
Travels with their job.
Low sex life
No time for romance
Has a sexy assistant and you are insecure (many spouses of Officer are worried about their Police spouse cheating).
The wives do all the housework, husbands do nothing.
The wives take care of the kids, husbands, nothing.
The wives have to be the disciplinarian.
The wives do the errands, grocery shopping, etc.
The husbands spend the weekends golfing and the wives get no “Me” time.

And the list goes on…. in any family, in any job these things can happen and do, not just LAW Enforcement. Remember this before you complain that you hate your spouse being a Cop, because you would have issues no matter what he did.

A posting I recently read was “When I first sought out this group hubby would not allow me to join “. and she went on to say that a large problem in their marriage was "cotrol issues. Umm, I’m sorry. WHAT? Not allowed? Oh boy! My husband would die laughing at even the thought of telling me what I can and cannot do!!! There are a few groups in yahoo of which I am apart and a few I came across wanted me to send a copy of his Police ID to join among other things, that is something that common sense tells me not to do but also something that he agreed I shouldn’t do and that he would not like it if I did. But this was a safety issue since I was giving out a picture, a name an address, etc.

Apparently this “ Control” issue is a large problem among LEO families…. I wouldn’t know because there’s not a chance my husband would be dumb enough or disrespect me enough to try to control me and destroy our marriage.

Remember Officer’s; your family is not to be treated as your suspects are.
And for a note to the spouses that are “controlled” simply don’t allow it, don’t cower and don’t let this be an issue in your marriage. Seek counseling, anything! But no…control is NOT a part of any marriage that is to be successful or happy.

A Prayer.

Off my husband goes out into the pouring down rain for another long night of work.
He is just getting over a cold that he got after two long days of physical training…and getting his head slammed on the floor.
He comes home and tells me all that he did that night, all the adventures and the sad stories, the crack head prostitutes that he had to pepper spray and the home for troubled sexual molesting teen boy’s who all tell their stories to him of raping little kids, or he’ll tell me about yet another young teen age gang member shot and killed, left to die alone in the streets.
He jumps fences and races after thugs on a daily basis ( our dry cleaner loves us for she is always repairing his pants) he has arrested gang members who reached for his glock to shoot him.
He faces death each day and the possibility of never coming home. He bears the stories of child abuse upon his shoulders . He arrests another drunk driver who could have wiped out a family of five. His blood pressure has raised since he started working in Law Enforcement and his back aches always from a heavy and awkward belt .He works nights and come home to turn around a couple of hours later to go to court or training ,And more every day.

And yet there are people who have the gall to make comments that Police Officers don’t earn their paycheck, these people who sit in a comfy temperature controlled office Mon-Fri 9-5 and wear rain coats that cost about thousands of dollars while my husband works out in the cold rain, drenched to the bone and fending off illness.

He has a split second to make a life or death decision and see’s that he or the public are in danger and makes that decision in the dead of night remembering his wife’s last words “ come home safe”. He might one day have to shoot a criminal and the media will cal him a bad person. Our Officers are the bad ones in the media right? Not the gang members, car thief’s and criminals out there that they have a job to keep off the streets. No, when one of our Officers has to make that split second decision he gets hell for it even as he aches secretly inside for having taken a human life even when there was no other choice.
But the criminal that he was forced to shoot is protected and the community out-cry’s because al of a sudden a car thief, gang member, or drug dealer with a record a mile long is innocent…all of a sudden.

But if it was your car stolen, your daughter raped or your son talked into doing drugs would you just stand there? Would you protect your family? If you were standing in the line of danger you would just stand there?

We have Police Officer to up-hold a law but when that law is up-held by them you curse them. I am sorry that a 13 year old boy had to die, I am sorry that he was raised to break the law, un-supervised because his parents didn’t care and taught to not only disrespect an Officer but to threaten an Officers life and put himself into the situation to be shot.
I am sorry that a 13 year old boy was already living a life towards crime and that if he wasn’t shot now he had a larger chance of being shot by a gang member later or put in prison for a more violent crime when he was older because the leaders of the African American community who said “ Our Officer’s have no regard for our young African American males” don’t stop and think “ why don’t we teach our young men…boy’s to have regard for the law?”

My husband does not want to have to shoot anybody tonight, he wants to make it through the night, take some bad people off the streets and return home safe and sound.

I beg the leaders of the African American community, I beg the parents of young African American boy’s to teach them to lead a better life, to obey the Lords commandments, to follow the law and to stay out of trouble. I beg for them to spend more time making this happen so that their young girls are not giving birth as teens or becoming teen prostitutes and that their boy’s do not break the law and become criminals. I beg them to break the stereotype of African American males that this young boy just added too.
I pray that my husband returns home safe and sound tonight and is not forced to shoot to protect himself, his partner’s, and the community.

In Response #2

In response to LAPDwife.com article " More Officers? Not just yet":

This is such a let down. We have been holding our breaths on this one hoping against hope that we would get more officers out there. My husband is having to U-Boat (alone in the car on patrol) more and more lately.
With the shooting of a 13-year-old boy this is what I have to say:
1. What the HELL was a 13 year old boy doing out at some un-Godly hour stealing cars, unsupervised by his parents and un-disciplined? 2. What the HELL was he doing racing his car back wards toward an Officer? 3: Not all 10 bullets went into the boy so stop with the: Officer shot 10 bullets at 13 year old boy" stuff"
4: 13 year old African American male, stealing cars, etc. More than likely would eventually, if not already, be dealing drugs, kill or is in a gang in another few years. I don't say this because he's a Black male; I say this because look at what he was already doing?5. What the hell kind of parents did he have? My 13 year old will not be out at odd hours stealing cars to be shot at anyways. He should have been home in bed. He put himself in that situation; he threatened the lives of Officers.
There was a line in one of the articles in the LA Times from one of the African American group leaders that stated " Officers have no regard for young African American Males".... umm, I don't see what regard the young African American male had towards that Officer as he aimed to run him over, or what regard he had for anyone else’s safety he could have hurt, or for the owner of the car he stole or for his parents or for the law.
I want to say to that African American leader " Stop bashing the Officer doing his job who was in danger and work harder to get your young African American boy's off the streets, in their homes at night, not stealing cars, out of gangs and following the laws".
I feel absolutely NO sympathy for the family of this boy, as this was how he was raised and allowed to be. I would feel this way being married to a cop or not.
The 10 shots fired I don't even see as too much as number one, adrenaline was pumping through the veins of an Officer who was in fear for his life and not all bullets hit the boy.
I come from an inter-racial family and am myself part black. I am not a racist and yes, I can be beast for my husband but this would be how I feel even not knowing a cop personally.I really do hope that this was not a reason that we did not receive more Officers because that would show what a poor and sad city I live in.
Maybe if some of those "young African American males" joined the Police Force instead of a gang it wouldn't always be a white cop out there only.
Everything turns into a damn racial issue when it's not, open your darn eye's people and save your young African American males from doing crime in the first place and you will be saving their lives!This is where your focused should be.
If the Officer had been black the black community would be saying something about " a brother kills a brother" I'm sure. How about a "brother respect the law ".
This was not the kind of 13-year-old many of us where at that age, still playing sweetly and innocently by any means. This boy was treated as a criminal because he was a criminal.

In response...

In Response to a post on LAPDWife.com article " Uphill Battle"

Wow, the gang capital? 5 gang members to one Officer?
First, that is counting ALL sworn Officers. Second, I think it's actually more because 80,000 to 9,100 comes up somewhere about 8.79 (?) so that would be more than 8 gang members to each Officer? Am I correct?
Third, like I mentioned SWORN Officers, meaning that doesn't count the fact that there are not 9100 Officers on the streets at each time, there are shifts, day and night and days off, vacation....Gang members will still be 80,000 but officers on the street at all times is not all 9100.
Fourth: We have Officers out as I said, vacation, days off, not their shift, etc. But we also have pregnancy leave ( I know one now) injury leave , etc.
Where does that now leave our number of Officers able to be out on the streets? NOT 9100 LAPD Police Officers are EVER on the street at the same time fighting the 80,000 gang members ( know gang members that is).
Then, we have this amount of gang members alone, there are all the other citisens out there, the homeless and the Illegal Aliens not counted .
And they won't pass a 1/2 cent tax law to hire more Officers? Well, I do hope that those councilmen never themselves have a need to call upon our LAPD Officers, because they will all be too busy.

Rain rain go away...

Great stuff , wonderfull blogs and V-Day.

LAPDwife.com has a new great post on it about the Do's and Don'ts of dating an Officer. There's a female Officer who posts in the comments section who is incredibly funny, Ladynblue, who shares her comments as a female Officer. New Years has past, with my husband calling me at midnight wishing me a happy new years as he and all the Officers in his division hid in an underground parking garage while the Los Angeles night sky rained gun fire from all of those who forget that what goes up... Now Valentines Day is fast approaching and though we do not have Hubby's new schedule in yet for that DP I figure he will be working. As a new and young 23-year-old wife most would think I'd be upset about being alone on V-Day. Well, I'm not, one thing I've learned through the Holidays so far is to be flexible and that just because there's a day on the calendar marked for a special day doesn't mean I can't celebrate everyday as Valentines day with my husband. So what are all of your favorite V-Day moments?

Email :" Good AttitudeYou have a great attitude about holidays that'll help you get through these early years when your husband will probably work most of them. I agree, the holiday doesn't need to be celebrated on the exact calendar date, just celebrated! I hope you two have a great Valentine's together - your first as a married couple. Very cool. I am desperately trying to think of something cool to surprise Jake with this year...I'll keep you posted if I hit on a good idea. "

The things you learn AFTER the wedding.

Wed, 19 Jan 2005
The things you learn AFTER the wedding.
Hello again, with a few months into the marriage I thought I’d send an update about new marriage and the lessons I’ve learned so far ( the comic ones=). I learned AFTER the wedding that he doesn't know how to turn the oven on, that he is so much a bachelor! He can't cook anything except on the gorge Forman grill! I had just figured that he ate out because it was convenient for him as a bachelor. I also learned that not only can he not deal with spicy foods he can barely have ANY spice at all (some seasoning is ok though) I knew spice was bad but not totally out of the question! So I basically have to make one serving spicy and one not...I love spicy food! (Cajun is my favorite and so is Indian) I learned this past Sunday that he hides dirty clothes on his side of the bed (which I never see because of the way it is I never go over there) and is too lazy to put them in the hamper so we had it out this weekend about that and I told him anything I had to pick up and put in the hamper was just going in the trash! I also heard all weekend “ all other husbands I know do it and their wives complain all the time but they still do it” to which my response was “ And when they jump off a cliff you can follow, until then you will pick up your dirty clothes WITHOUT me having to mention it again” (while giving what he calls my “mad at my husband look”). I’ve learned not to threaten the X-Box=) this could possibly be cause for divorce. I also learned that he has a million comic books that where stored up north at his parents which they are starting to send down while preparing for retirement. When I mentioned selling on E-bay I got the most offended look ever. I learned how fast it takes before I'm sick of pizza because on his "cook" nights that’s what he gets ! He's started changing that though this week after I told him I couldn't look at pizza ever again! The one great thing he does on his cook nights is it is always by romantic candlelight and music. I have learned that a husband will at least once hear their wife fart in their lifetime together ( NEVER happens when dating=) and that he will forever then call her "Farty" and never let her live it down!!! And last but not least the ONLY part of the wedding video my dear husband is interested in showing everyone is the part where I make a funny face which he plays in slow motion and it turns me into a mutant! Other than that...it's all good=)

Comment to this post from an email: "Too FunnyThis is too funny. Thanks for the update. This made me think of the time soon after Jake and I were married when I discovered that he had many different levels of clean and dirty when it comes to laundry. Very dirty went in the hamper. Slightly dirty (as in you can wear it again if you air it out first) was another pile. Medium dirty was also an option for when you really, really needed it and were out of the slightly dirty clothes. I still laugh at this. And 8 years later, he's better but not perfect. The medium and very dirty are now making it into the hamper. I'm still fighting the slightly dirty pile though. sigh... : ) "

Catching up.

Wed, 12 Jan 2005
It's been awhiiiiiiile....
Hey all, well I haven't posted in awhile. Much happening, I am spending more time over on lapdwife.com than anything! Work and a new marriage and training ( horseback). On lapdwife.com there is a great long posting war going on, of which I am a part of=) Well, I gotta defend my man, not only that but for what I beleive in right? All my friends too. There's too much there to bring it all over here so you shuld just catch up on that site. Married life is good...except in traffic! We had our first married Christmas together now and I got my first things from my other -in-law that have to be on display when ever she comes, oh I love her though, she's a great person and I couldn't ask for a better mother-in-law! I got lucky. C-Dawg and I went overboard on each other with gifts but everyone tells me that all I will get for now on are vacum cleaners. Oh well. Even his family was impressed and told him he did a good job...better than any of the rest of the men in the family did their first Christmas!!! Yes, I got jewelry=) Good boy=) I also got flowers too, and lots of other things. We have had a few funny moments, like our wedding video came in and I made a quick funny face to which my husband now shows EVERBODY is SLOW motion and you can see me morph into a mutant...crazey, thanks hon. Also the cake flying into the chest of my dress...yup, all caught on tape. There's also my " Fine! I'll put the shelves up myself " moments. But we still look at each other and go " wow, we really got married". I am still amazed and mlove the word " Husband" . We both still slip and call each other girlfriend/boyfriend...then joke and say " what girlfriend/boyfriend? " We have also had alot of " sooo, when are the babies going to start coming along?" ....ummm, not anytime soon! Although I am amazed to be able to look at C-Dawg and KNOW who the father of my future babies will be, its something us girls think about our whole lives ya know. Busy with work and currently leasing a horse that I am training for hunter/jumper over by the Los Angeles Equestrian Center and enjoying that even though the last couple of weekends have been a bit...well...wet. It's great to be back in the saddle though. More later all. Take care.

Mon, 27 Sep 2004
My cop.
Now, I am marring an LAPD officer…yeah, a cop. Now my guy isn’t your donut eating kind even though Oreo cookie frozen yogurt may at times be found in the freezer…or the empty carton in the trash…He is the kind who watches his weight (yep, grew up a fatty) and cares about muscle. What’s funny is that he’ll brag about the muscle he’s put on then complain when ever, I, the weaker sex, asks him to lift anything heavy. Then you get the “badge bunnies” to deal with, something that I’ve mostly just known by reading about so far. These women who chase after men in uniform just because that…they are men and in uniform, but when you date them you don’t get to see them in uniform! I have now seen as of the other day, my guy only 3 times in a year, twice because he put it on for me to see and once, the other day, because he forgot his radio clip so he and his partner drove out over and I ran down to meet them at the car with the clip, so now I’ve seen him three times in a year in uniform but let me tell you, the car topped it all! It was all so official …well; I became a badge bunny myself for a moment for the first time since beginning dating a cop and a year after. Now, when you date or marry a cop you don’t announce it to the world as they have enemies who become your enemies and if vengeance is sought those enemies come after the arresting officers loved ones…yeppers, that’s me. So we don’t shout it out to the world even when there’s times I’m hit on and want to say “ Let me call my fiancé, I’ll ask him and his berretta if it’s ok to give you my number”. Then there’s naming the guns, so far we have Big B. and Lil’ Smith and soon we’ll have…well, what’s a cute name for a Glock? Other issues with dating a cop is you should be able to wrestle…so they can stay in practice you know. Well, the thing is, my guy has a reputation for tearing a guy’s knee out and sending him six months back from graduating from the Academy. So basically he try’s to practice his maneuvers and the second he does anything I’m screaming, “stop!” Oh, then there’s the video games, now, video games really are a mans toy more than a boy’s, especially today’s games. But he says, when ever I roll my eye’s about it, that he’s “training” yeah, training, for his job, and so are the other millions of non-officer men who are playing those games. Then guess what? He has a berretta duplicate for the games and now a shot gun too…. these expenses where for “training” I am told. Geesh. Men. Well, I’m happy as long as he sticks to playing with video games then the badge bunnies. My guy does a lot of working out, he really study’s and does different things that not only help him with his job and keeping off weight but also with balance and other such things that will help keep him young, even though when he stands up now he makes the old man sound. But he has one thing where he hangs upside down in a door way by his feet…am I wrong to have that urge to tickle and make my big strong man cry for mercy from a little tickle? Now, as I said before, when with a cop or a cop yourself you take measures to be discreet about your profession…this is doesn’t help when you open the trunk of your car and there’s a big black duffel bag with huge, bold, bright white letters that’s says “ POLICE”. The first date we went on I got “the look” when after being drilled on being careful and not telling everyone what he does for a living the waitress comes up and loudly says “ So what division are you in?” and I got THE LOOK, he thought I told her what he did, when I had not been alone with her to do so, he forgot that little fact, and he asks her how she knows, she says “ it’s on your credit card and my fiancé’s a cop”, he shows me his credit card and sure enough, Mr. Gotta be cautious has a credit card…2 actually that say “Los Angeles Police Department”. That’s all right; he’s had “The look” a lot more times from me since then than I have from him. More about my copper coming soon...

Days of past.

Here I am getting married, engaged and planning a wedding that is less than 4 weeks away and guess what my new favorite comic strip is? Cathy. They are getting her married and come up with so many funny’s about planning and the engagement, oh it has me rolling on the floor to see I am obviously not the only woman going insane over her wedding!